Home from the hospital or today I learnt that Spinal Tap is more than a rock band.

Post 00052 | October 9th 2024

Long time no see, huh? I know I have been away for quite a while, and now I return with two life updates in a row. That fact of the matter is that I have been feeling a bit less than stellar lately. I have just been released from hospital with the assumed diagnosis of multiple sclerosis or MS for short. Basically, for the last couple of years, my immune system has been gnawing away at my central nervous system, to the point where my legs and feet have gotten weak and are having issues getting sensory input. She illness does not have cure, and will most likely spread to other limbs as time moves on. However, through medication and physical therapy it can be slowed down and managed.

What happened?

I first contacted my doctor in spring last year because my legs were asleep almost constantly. She suspected it was a herniated disc and told me to get back if I started having involuntarily discharges. This hasn’t been the case, but this summer, as I was having problems walking and maintaining balance, I contacted them again. I had recently had a slip and landed on my tailbone, so they still assumed it could be a herniated disc. I was booked for an MRI of my lumbar, and because the time available was more than four weeks away, I was entitled to get one at a private clinic of my choosing. Stupidly, I gotten the date wrong when I noted it in my calendar, which meant I was 24 hours late for my appointment. In the end, I was asked to call their secretary the next day. She was very nice about it, and scheduled a new scan for after the weekend. Out of curtesy, I called the physical therapist assigned to my doctor’s office to tell her not wait for the MRI results because of my blunder. This is when she told me that she wanted to have me hospitalised to expedite things. Ten minutes later she called back and told me I should make my way to the hospital in my region.

The staff at the hospital was amazing. I brought into a room in the emergency ward where a nice Icelandic doctor who specialised in back problems was pretty confused during my examination. I showed no signs of a herniated disc (and to be frank, the tailbone pain had subsided). In the end, she fetched a neurologist, who went through his own examination. As the neologist whispered his observations to the Icelandic doctor, she kept making concerned grimaces. In the end I was sent to the neurological ward to stay the weekend over. I received a two bed room for my own. The ward evidently wasn’t all that busy, presumably because it’s customary to send a lot of patients home for the weekend. The nurses were wonderful; It felt like they had time to tell about the ward, the cafeteria menu and eating times, and even offered to bring me some food. However, to stretch my legs and because I was given a rollator, I decided to visit the cafeteria and eat there (even so, they would still bring me cake for afternoon coffee and a late night snack).

I was positively surprised about the selection of food at the hospital. The one on the left was a vegetarian dish they made espeically for me when I arrived while the photo on the left was a standard lunch selection.

I mostly had the cafeteria for myself. Only I and a 90 year old man ate there. He was pretty talkative, so we would sit and smalltalk. Other than that, I barely spoke with any patients. After all, the neurological ward caters to both deceases of the nerves and brain, so most patients were bed ridden, and the few that weren’t were probably supposed to be. On the first night, an Eastern European man went in my washroom to use the toilet. I didn’t think much of it, as I had just arrived, I didn’t know if we had shared facilities and even if we didn’t, it seemed to impolite (not to mention unhygienic) to stand between a man and a toilet. An apologetic nurse came by later to tell me that he didn’t seem to know where he was and would wander around, much to the chagrin of the staff, patients, and his wife. He wasn’t dangerous though, so if I saw him I should just pull the cord and a nurse would come running. That said, I couldn’t help letting out a scream when he the next night would try to climb into my bed.

On Sunday I got another patient in my room; A 90 year old with heavy breathing. He struggled to find his words, replying with “yes”, “no”, and “oh well” when somebody told him he’d answered wrong. He was a little better while he visitors, but deteriorated after dinner, where he soiled himself, took his trousers off and back went to bed. A nurse passing by got alarmed by the smell and called for assistance. After this, half an hour of hectic hospital drama, his relatives were called. They stayed for a while. He had also developed sleep apnea, neglecting to breathe for a good twenty seconds with regular intervals. You can imagine how distressing this would be for the relatives. Needless to say, with the drama, the empathy for him and his family, the lingering smell and the arrhythmic breathing, I didn’t get much sleep that night.

Monday I had my MRI scan, which went pretty uneventful. All I knew about an MRI was how the first thing everyone told me was not to worry about it because it is very safe. Obviously, this has the opposite effect. That said, as I had barely slept the night before, I had to catch myself not dozing off inside it. It felt very 90’s in a way: You’re being moved around like you were lying on a CD tray and the scanner itself made sounds like a dot matrix printer, a scanner and a rumble motor. To be honest, I felt like I was in my element.

Also on Monday, my dinner companion was discharged. He had previously been moved to a single room as he was getting flashbacks in his sleep about his visit in the MRI. After his room was emptied, the old man in my room was moved there. I don’t know what happened to him, though I heard his name being said loudly a couple of times, as if they were trying to get his attention, so I assumed.

Tuesday was result day. The MRI showed little white dots which was a sign of multiple sclerosis. Because of this, they wanted to keep me there for another day to schedule a range of blood samples (I counted twenty-one in total) as well as a lumber acupuncture to withdraw some cerebrospinal fluid. I was asked to sit in a foetal position, hugging my duvet, while at fist a neurologist (and later a anaesthetist when the neurologist gave up after her third attempt) would sterilise my back and run a long, thin needle into my back to drain fluid from my spine. This is where the 80’s mock rock band got its name from - This needle served as a literal Spinal Tap!

After the first couple of test came in with the desired results, I was discharged from the hospital and offered a ride home. This is where we are now. I am now home in my own bed, writing this as I am waiting for the anaesthesia to wear off and the soreness to be turned up to eleven.

And what now then?

While we are still waiting for the final results, I am not going to lie: This has been a blow. While I’m happy to finally have a name for what I’m feeling, for the longest time, I was hoping for that magical ninja chop in the back that would realign everything and send me home skipping. That said, I not going to give up without a fight. I think a healthy body is the kind of thing you don’t know you love until you are about to lose it. My first order of business is to lose some weight. It nearly took a month from the second time I called my doctor to when I had my appointment (I didn’t realise I was supposed to haggle for a better time - In a way I found comfort in the non-urgency), so any time when I got home from work, I would stay in bed, doing as little as possible to avoid applying stress to my legs and body. This includes cooking, which was outsourced mainly takeaway deliveries and tinned ready-meals. Hardly a long-sighted idea. Lack of loyal legs lets the lad lay lardy love handles. I was weighed due to my MRI scan - I was about 10 kgs more than I would have guessed. Other than it functioning as padding if I fall, there isn’t really a scenario where extra body weight would help me.

I also need to get my stuff in order. My malfunctioning members make my mansion messy. I’m not saying I’m living in a hoarder’s nest, but I am definitely way behind on cleaning. Especially, when you lack balance, you knock things over, and with the lack of leg muscle, things don’t get picked up. The hospital lent me the rollator I was using during my visit. This will be both my aid and motivator; I can use it as a stool on wheels, to carry things around, and to help me get around when the floor is cleared.

Finally, I need to take all the training I can get. This comes after the final results are in. Until then, I want to read up on the experiences of other people with MS. There are clearly lots of people who are living good lives with the disease, and I want to be one of them.

In the end, I would also like to point out that there is no links to a Patreon or GoFundMe page. I am economically fine. I find myself blessed that I find myself in Denmark. During my hospital visit, the only time my wallet was out of my pocket was when I needed to scan my social security card. I will to pay for medicine, but thankfully I am a standby member in Denmark’s main health insurance company, which means I can easily activate it without having to be evaluated for preexisting conditions. Finally, I am also employed by an American company, who insist of paying for a separate health insurance scheme. I’m not sure I could be in a better position to fight this, so in that way, I do feel blessed.

Instead, I would be delighted if you would jot down a few words in the guest book. By the way, I think I have managed to deal with the hideous amount of spam. I was getting tons of random messages about car keys for some reason. If you use Yellabook, their German section has a guide to deal with it. I had to restore from a backup, so I can only apologise if your message was lost in the purge - let me know if this is the case; I took a backup before restoring, so I should be able to find and re-add your message.

Aren't hospital outlets just the cutest? ;)